It's been a long time

When I last posted I was 32, in the middle of a divorce and medicated like a zombie. The only things that have changed is I'm 34 with a few more wrinkles and worries and I'm divorced.

My whole life I've been ashamed of my depression. Scared of my outbursts and self inflicted pain.

Constantly wondering what is wrong with me. I still ask that question. Why does the sting of the razor feel so good. Why does only pain help misdirect the pain I feel everywhere else.

I wake up most mornings disappointed that I woke up. I just want to feel normal.