Why do I want him back so bad when it doesn't seem like he could care less. He walked out without a good-bye, without a kiss.
And yet I miss his hands and his nose and his eyes. Im miss his arms around me. Where is my strength to just say good-bye?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Forevererer
He always promised me he wasn't going any where. PROMISED over and over again that we were forever. Now I can't even tell him I miss him with out him getting so angry with me it feels like a stab to the heart. What the fuck am I waiting for? Why am I waiting for him to make the decisions here? He left me, he gave up on me and yet I'm the one dying for him to come back. Where is my strength? Why can't I just say, you are not strong enough for me? You are not mature enough for me?
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The truth is, it's supposed to be this hard. It's supposed to feel impossible...insurmountable...inconceivable. This moving and closing the door and starting over should rip and tear...that's how you know it was real. So the good news, and yes there is some, is that this pain means you are able to give love and receive love and live love.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Leanna here too, it hurts SO bad so that you can finally, really, truly, let go. So that every time you think of it, you can't believe you let something hurt you like that. And one day, you can realize how very strong you are for overcoming that pain.
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