Moving ON

Well I didn't have to wait long to be out of limbo. My ex has decided he has no faith in me to get better. How do you answer that? Clinical Depression and PTSD just don't go away on their own. It takes years of work and therapy and soul searching and he just wasn't willing to put in the time. Does my heart hurt? Hells yeah it hurts. We were in love, soul mates I believed. His promises of "Babe I'm not going anywhere ever" and "I'll never take my kids away from you" I guess fell on deaf ears. But those deaf ears were his, not mine.

I haven't cut in over 2 weeks now and I'm proud of myself. It's a small/huge step for me.

I'm moving on. Missing him every day, missing the kids more. Missing our "family" the most. But I find myself laughing again, smiling at the sun. Giggling at my psycho kitten. Finding the little joys.

Am I healed? FAR from it. Will I be one day? That' a question I cannot answer right now. Is CD and PTSD curable? Or is it like alcoholism where you are always recovering?

Either way I know this. With every day my friends, my family give me strength to get through each day one by one. And for that I am grateful.